Marley and Me

We were visiting the girls Grandma in the Easter holidays and our elder daughter was keen to see the new film ‘Marley and Me’ based on the book by John Grogan. Part of a Dad’s duty, and sometimes delight, is to go with his children to see movies he wouldn’t go to of his own accord. This is fair enough, particularly as I had dragged Charlotte off to look round a Georgian stately home in The Fens on our way to my mother’s. Charlotte had actually found exploring the beautiful house and its two acre walled garden a surprisingly positive experience. Perhaps I would be similarly inspired by this rather slushy sounding film starring Jennifer Aniston.
It’s about newly-weds, John and Jennifer Grogan, who are, like many winning combinations, total opposites, although they share the same occupation as journalists. She is feisty and efficient, and propels them forward along their new journey together, by working through a tick-list of priorities to ensure their life is as happy as can be. Within days of the completed honeymoon, they have headed south to find work in sunny Florida. Once this is accomplished, she drives them off to find a house by the sea. John on the other hand, is charmingly laid-back, with floppy blond hair and a beguiling James Stewart drawl. He admits to his new employer at the local paper, that he is constantly surprised by his own achievements, and in particular finding such a beautiful girl to marry him. In spite of this engaging humility, John does have some ambition, and wants to become a successful reporter one day on a reputable journal like the New York Times. Therefore, he is a little wary of getting saddled with kids before he’s begun to make his mark. His sharper, sassier colleague and friend in Florida, Sebastian, advises him to get a dog to deflect the issue of starting a family from his wife, and so within a short time Marley, an adorable Labrador puppy has been adopted by John and Jenny Grogan. This is the point where our newly weds discover what marriage is all about. Marley may be adorable, but he is also virtually untameable, and far more demanding than they had bargained for. He eats like a horse rather than a puppy, chews through their fixtures and fittings, and has no respect for public decorum. Marley’s problem, which soon becomes theirs, is that he is so full of joie de vivre, that he crashes through every barrier, whether physical or social, in his eagerness to experience life to the full. Inevitably the film exploits the comedy of Marley’s behaviour, but as the story of the Grogan’s marriage develops, we see there is much more to this over-grown puppy than a simple figure of fun. As time goes by, John finds himself somewhat side-lined on the paper. He is asked to write a weekly column about local trivia, while his friend Sebastian is sent off to report on important events unfolding in the wider world. Initially John is understandably ‘blocked’ in his attempt to say anything interesting about the local gossip, but Marley’s eccentric companionship as they rove the neighbourhood, ensures he always finds an interesting anecdote to thread into his new column. Somehow, Marley roots John’s life, and thus his writing, in the messy practical details of everyday existence, and though he still yearns for the big-time, his weekly journal becomes a great success with his local readers. However, when John and Jennifer have children, in fact three in fairly quick succession, the Grogan’s marriage is placed under great strain, particularly since Marley demands the equivalent care of at least the same number again. Jennifer becomes so overwhelmed at one point, that she tears into her gentle giant of a husband. They talk about separation and Jennifer demands at the very least, that John gets rid of Marley once and for all. This crisis forces them to take stock of their life together, and through this they discover what matters most. Both the marriage and Marley, they ultimately decide, are here to stay.
Although, as the film’s title suggests, Marley is very much in the foreground of the film’s action and narrative, he also provides a back-drop for it’s examination of a typical modern marriage. John and Jennifer Grogan struggle with all the common tensions of most middle-class couples in the West today, as they seek to build a family and a future together; the choice between motherhood and career, finding a healthy work-life balance, letting go of unfulfilled ambitions at mid-life, growing to understand and positively accept themselves as they truly are, becoming wise and loving parents. Marley symbolizes the messy chaos of creating a family, the endless needs that have to be met in the process of caring for dependants. This reality is cleverly contrasted with Sebastian’s slicker, yet somewhat selfish, existence as a single-man, dating women wherever he is sent as a successful reporter for The New York Times. To its credit the film does not judge Sebastian, who is portrayed with warmth and humour, but it perhaps hints at what he may be missing. In spite of his boundless energy, Marley inevitably begins to slow down and crawl toward death as the years roll by. This is the messiest and most chaotic factor in caring for anyone, striking painfully at the deep emotional bond that has been formed over the years. Though the film is unashamedly sentimental in showing the Grogan’s pain at facing up to Marley’s death, it is never cheaply so. John, Jennifer and the children are quite understandably devastated at having to say goodbye to their vivacious, affectionate companion through the highs and lows of family life. In a wistful monologue at the end of the film, John reflects how Marley’s love for them had been utterly spontaneous and unconditional. It mattered not a jot to Marley whether they were rich or poor, successful or otherwise . As John muses before the credits roll, how many others love us in quite that way?
In this, the first week of Easter, I found the film uplifting and life-affirming, despite the pathos of its ending. In the Christian story, we are taught that God began the messy, chaotic process of creating a family when he made human-kind in His own image. We learn, especially in the narrative of the crucifixion, just how much that cost him. Yet we are reminded supremely in the Resurrection, that the cost was worth it. In the Crucifixion and Resurrection, God in His love for his wild, unruly family, shares the highs and lows of human history. These momentous paschal events reveal, through the story of Jesus, not only our frightening tendency for self-destruction, but also our ultimate capacity for overcoming the worst that life can throw at us. Every family that perseveres, discovers this wonderful truth. Rachel and I will drive back to Sussex with our girls this Easter, with a renewed vision for our own marriage and family, even if I still can’t persuade her after all these years to let us get a dog.